Are you autistic? Someone with ADHD? Are you on the spectrum? How do you know?
Does the big overhead light feel too bright, too loud? Have you ever heard, “It’s rude not to look someone in the eye when they’re speaking to you”? Is direct eye contact uncomfortable for you? Do your conversations start out intending to have a point and then go on so many side quests that you forget where you started the discussion? Do you have a comfort food? Comfort clothes?
Living on the spectrum in a neurotypical world is a bit like surfing a wave: Sometimes fun, sometimes frightening, often unpredictable and confusing. Explaining yourself and your motivations to others can feel impossible sometimes, like both of you are speaking the same language but with different meanings for words.
For those on the spectrum, sensations are amplified in ways that neurotypicals do not necessarily experience. Dealing with people or situations that are new or unexpected can be emotionally overwhelming. This makes the familiar and well-worn ways of living less stressful, less anxiety-inducing. They can also be limiting sometimes, and hold us back from trying new, maybe fun things to do. The unknown can be scary.
Do you find it difficult to work without accountability or structure? Many neurodivergent people struggle with schedules and find workarounds to accommodate their needs. Some use spreadsheets and very detail-oriented procedures to accomplish tasks. Others find themselves unable to motivate without the threat of imminent deadlines looming. For most neurotypicals, these extremes of workflow are not experienced. Bridging that communication gap in the workplace can present some distinct challenges.
What does “neurotypical” mean? This term refers to people whose brains process information and sensations like most others around them. They comprise a majority of the population and our society and its expectations are mostly centered around ‘neurotypical’ thinking, and ways of moving through the world. On the other hand, neurodiverse people experience and understand the world in a unique, often bespoke ways. This can lead to unintended but potentially damaging misunderstandings during conversations. Sometimes conversations feel like they are occurring in two different languages.
Neurotypical folks consider eye contact to be friendly and natural. They take it as a sign of a successful interaction. Conversely, many neurodivergent people would rather walk away from the conversation – however unfinished – than make uncomfortable, physically painful, eye contact for one more second. What behaviours might feel easy for one group might feel nearly impossible for a different group. There is no single definition of either neurotypicality or neurodivergence. They can change as social and societal norms change.
Living on the neurodivergent spectrum while operating in a neurotypical world presents a particular set of challenges. There is no one way to be neurodiverse, so there is no single, simple alternative way to move through the world. There is no map, sometimes we need to ask for directions.
What does this mean? It means that there is one way that’s “right” or one that’s “wrong”. Taller people can reach higher, shorter people can get into places others could not.
Our strength begins in our diversity and our uniqueness.